“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
― Henry David Thoreau
― Henry David Thoreau
The Beginning of February, 2012
The first month of 2012 has evaporated without anything to show for it? My month ahead will take me a journey to Marco Island & Wisconsin for some serious family time. Is it reckless nourishment to think that I still need more healing??? The dagger is still lodged in my side as the devil continues to drive it in further with every chance he gets; I figure a little distance might supercharge my battery, wipe the mental plate clean & prepare me for a kings return equipped with remembered skills of patience, unconditional love, forgiveness and self-empowerment. This damn lawsuit has eaten away at my soul and as foreboding as four months to trial may appear, I assure you – the crook will extend his every effort to make the process as painful and costly as possible. I look forward to the coming days of Florida sunshine & basking in the warmth of safety amongst my loved ones.
This is the longest duration that I’ve stepped away from my journal, almost four days and while I’d like to think I did it for some purpose, the truth is nothing but collective ignorance. I stepped away from more than just writing, I didn’t change the channel . . . I turned the tele off, checked out, lay waste and embraced the emptiness inside me. I did however accomplish a thing here or there if it concerned others and as I have to shimmy over the week, I’ll just outline those activities of importance:
1) I reunited with my first love, my Irish Prince for a late night dinner date . . ahh, but how to get there with no wheels? I took a splurge of connecting trains from Hollywood Blvd’s red line “aka: “Fallen Star Train” of tourists & street side employees, to Compton’s blueline aka: “Ghetto Fantasia Train” with a Kaleidoscope of hair dyes & conservative thugs and finally the Long Beach destined green line aka: Double DUI Contestant Train” After the endearing journey (which was twice as much fun on the return at 11:30pm) I settled into the booth with Todd and channeled into our impervious adoration for each other, our genuine memories of young love, our bond that is as strong as the day I met him – after we finished, I scooped him up in my arms . . it felt so right! A peck on the lips all but extinguished the peak of desire, but at last I grabbed him and sheltered his moist lips . . a true kiss bidding him farewell and saying, “I wish I had never let you go, I still love you . . . I give you back to your life, as I go back to my loneliness.” (note: I dedicate the recipe below to our shared love, may you enjoy the delicate sweetness dancing on your tongue as much as I did)
2) I visited a good friend at Cedar-Sinai hospital who was recently diagnosed with brain cancer. I’ve known Joe for over ten years. A character through and through it is daunting to see one layed up yet reassuring that his spirits had not diminished. I’ve been back twice and will go one finally time today to watch the Superbowl with him (although he has no interest in sports other than surfing). I made him some Omega 3- high octane home-made Lara bars that turned out super delish. It’s a bit eerie going to that hospital as it was nearly a decade ago that my best friend lost the battle to cancer there. Joe will make it – he’s destined to live on, even if it is somewhat of a tortured journey.
3) Rudolph had some dental fixins lined up in the Valley and needed a chauffeur for the return as he anticipated his consumption of 2 vicadine, 1 zanax and several cumulus clouds of grade-A pot accentuated by the dentist administered tranquilizers just might impede his ability to distinguish a stop sign from a gnome galloping on the back of African long haired anteater. Whilst his mouth was attended to, I took liberty to meet up with another African, Ms. Lulu who had requested my assistance in writing her bio. The blackness (as I affectionately call her) has been in my life for over five years now, I’ve seen her graduate from clueless to supermodel survivor . . . pause . . the friends that are in my life are pricelessly extraordinary.
4) Delvonne, my student from Job Corps, came over for some weekly culinary training and having learned that he was almost as broke as I am, we conjured up some eats for him to sell at his dorm. Steamed pork adobo dumplings, oaxacan beef chili & a few kashmiri chicken patties were prepped and packaged for him to hock later that night. Such a good kid with admirable qualities - he inspires me to be a better person and to make the best of any situation. I look forward to the days ahead when I might be able to offer him more than just culinary knowledge and work experience.
A blur is perhaps the best narrative for how my January has transpired and up until now . . . unfilled promises of 2012 continue without any certainty. As concrete paved intentions yet to reach its limitless strength, yearning to mature unmolested so that it might endure the coming of time as intended form . . . I mix the stone to water and wait. Waiting is something I’ve have grown accustomed to. Should it scare me a bit that one month has already passed??? Hell, yes it should! But it is not how much you accomplish in any certain time period that defines your state of will, just an indication of one’s focus . . . . and my eyes can’t see shit right now! Blurry is the adjective of the January hour; I endeavor for a more inspiring February descriptive.With Culinary Blessings,
Chef Scotty
Recipe: Panna Cotta del Amore
Yields 30 custards. . . so unless you’re having a party or own a restaurant you’ll want to scale back this recipe. Gelatin is the epicurean equivalent of cement and can be a bit tricky to get the ratio right so read the notes below. You can flavor this little sucker with whatever your heart desires . . freedom & true love aren’t an option for me right now; next best thing is some solid foundation & that my friends is exactly what I’m set out to do.
Ingredients
| · 1 | cup water |
| · 6 | tablespoons unflavored gelatin |
| · 12 | cup chaokoh (one #10 can) unsweetened coconut milk |
| · 1 | cup sugar, granulated |
| · 1 | teaspoon cardamom, ground |
| · 1 | tablespoon vanilla or 1 Madagascar vanilla bean, split |
| · 2 | tablespoons rosewater (available middle eastern/indian markets) |
| · 2 | cups each sugar & water (for simple syrup) |
Preparation
- Place water, 2 cups coconut milk & 1 cup sugar in bowl, sprinkle with gelatin; set aside.
- Place coconut milk, ground cardamom, and vanilla in medium saucepan. Heat over medium heat for 15 minutes; stir to smooth out. Do not boil. Scrap vanilla seeds into mixture and let cool, then add gelatin mixture; stir until gelatin is completely dissolved.
- Pour coconut milk mixture into custard cups. Refrigerate about 3 hours or until set.
- To unmold, run butter knife around outside edges of cups; place cups in hot water about 30 seconds. Place serving plate over cup; invert and shake until panna cotta drops onto plate or use a scissors to cut plastic container & peel it away from the panna cotta.
- For rosewater caramel, bring water & sugar to a rolling boil, cool & add rosewater
- Top each serving with toasted pistachio, edible flowers or rose petal chiffonade, place in the middle of plate then ladle 4oz of rosewater simple syrup around the custard.
-Sprinkle or rain the gelatin powder evenly over a cool liquid (usually the liquid amount is specified in the recipe).
-If the liquid is warm or hot, the gelatin cannot soften properly.
-Scattering the gelatin over the liquid's surface prevents the gelatin from forming clumps.
-Firmness varies on the ration of water to gelatin and to temperature.
-Gelatin takes twice as long to dissolve when used with cream or milk.
-Use 1 envelope (1 tablespoon or 1/4 ounce) unflavored gelatin to 2 cups of water for standard firmness. Decrease or increase water for your particular needs. One 3-ounce package of flavored, sweetened gelatin needs 2 cups of water. One tablespoon of unflavored powdered gelatin equals 4 sheets of leaf gelatin.
-Too much sugar can inhibit the gelatin from firming up - as the more sugar in the recipe, the softer the resultant gelatin will be. Best to mix the sugar and gelatin together before dissolving with the liquid.
If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters.
ReplyDeletelove u! Jim