Sister Mary Cleo's antique, nor longer quite noir 1997 pathfinder is both my temporary means of transportation and as of today, a very efficient gas chamber. Mean farts referring to my afternoon consumption of Agape conceived raw/vegan desserts resulting in the proficient amount of flatulence generated in myhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif lower abdomen. Painfully aromatic ... Can these windows go any lower?
November 5th, 2011
Veganism: is the practice of eliminating the use of animal products. Ethical vegans reject the commodity status of animals and the use of animal products for any purpose, while dietary vegans or strict vegetarians eliminate them from their diet only.
It's raining & I'm galloping onward in my self-discovery & planning of "Sunday Funday" activities. Yesterday marked the "kick-off" of Agape''s 25 year anniversary celebrations (see: ) and I participated as a "celebrity chef" judge sharing the table with an eclectic cast of Hollywood characters including:
-Vanessa Williams: actress with amazing hair!(no not the glorified & de-crowned Ms. America),
-Deborah M. Pratt: Magnum PI actress, illuminated aura, "Quantam Leap" persona
-Chef BeLive: rockstar Raphael of raw/vegan creations, granola a la sophisticato
Dr. Lana Bettencourt, was the common denominator amongst our little tribe. I had hired this Nubian reiki master to work on my energy a few weeks past and it was at that time she requested my participation in judging a "healthy dessert" competition. Now, most of us would agree that the words "healthy" & "dessert" http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif are two very distant relatives . . kind of like Ernie & Bert. The contest included four dishes: some vegan sweet potato hash of thing (I think "Sweet Thang" would be an appropriate title), raw chocolate avocado mousse, "snarfberry" granola bars & our crowned winner of . . . hmmm, a "dulce de raw" composition neither perfect nor entirely flawed. Searching for some moral reprieve, I desperately sought after Chef BeLive's confirmation that indeed; "These desserts were comparable to 4 year old's audition as a mezzo-soprano Opera singer" Regardless, the clock now read 3:15pm and I was famished beyond the state an Aboriginal prefect!
Surrounded by angelic beings hocking everything from enlightened eco-friendly products & holistic services, both Chef Be'Live & I traversed into culinary affiliated conversation Harmonious entropy would properly describe the next ten minutes. Having made each others acquaintance, it was clear that our paths would carve future footsteps within the forest floor . . the exact implications yet to manifest.
Tender exhaustion settling into my quivering hamstrings, I bounced out of there like a wombat in heat. The radio partially blasting to the tunes of Maroon 5, I was suddenly jolted upward by a reversible geiser of gas ...moments later, the smell would consume my olfactories with a feverish disdain. Then . . Bam!!! Another roaring pearl of potency . . Good god!!! Flailing for the window controls I nearly swerved off Stocker Street and into one of those antiquated oil wells. The unrelenting farts would continue to tear away at my pair of True Religion jeans for more than 8-miles. You're asking yourself, "What in Allah's creation could cause such a inhumane chemical reaction?" Vegan-Raw desserts is the only explanation.
After managing to shimmy, slide & dodge traffic in an frantic effort to reach home; (where a large assortment of over-the-counter pharmaceuticals promised some possibility of temporary relief) i guzzled pints of club soda & determined that my body yearned for protein. Silverlake's Thai mecca restaurant, Rambutan proved to have cordial service and authentic dishes at a modest price. The fact that only one other table, shared our cosy little abode reflects that indeed, our capricious economy stills impacts even the most basic of necessities - eating (out).
Done for the day, I suited up into those perfectly worn, non-society approved yet ever so damn comfortable bedtime clothes . . . that's when the phone rang. Captain Nemo was back from his South American trip & was feeling frisky for Ketel One Vodka, swarms of barflies and . . shit - shit - shit!!! So, off to the Abbey () we went in gregarious fashion and no, Scotty didn't drink but he did dance, maybe fondle a go-go dancer and quite possibly . . not return to his own bed that night? Tack on an extra hour of sleepy time for day light savings & stay tuned for Sunday's wrap-up.
with Culinary Blessings,
Scotty
Raw/Vegan Chocolate Blowballs
1.5 cups shredded coconut
3/4 c maple syrup (or agave to be technically raw)
3/4 c cocoa powder
Dash Vanilla Extract
Optional: 1/4 c coconut oil (I used it and encourage it!)
Optional: 1/4 c chia seeds, candied or raw ginger and/or chopped, raw almonds
Mix all the ingredients together by hand, roll into balls & toss into the freezer ... you're done. :)
NOTE: All characters names have been altered to protect their privacy
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