Unravelling Rapture & Blue Demons in Pursuit of Something

“One is not born into the world to do everything but to do something.”
― Henry David Thoreau

 

February 13^th, 2012

At last, I feel words form to my thought . . something dignified.  I believe in God, despite my renouncement of his lacking of late, my everyday curse as one of the living.  This is the second morning that I have risen before that of the Sun.  The sky is so beautiful transcending every shade of blue, maybe the blue of yesterdays poem alludes to the same.  Where the Earth meets “the floorboards” of heaven it is topaz adorned with silhouettes of swaying date palm fronds, then tiffany to majorelle, duke to navy and almost gray but really prussian melded with anubis and dotted by the stars of the Almighty . . . I search, a turn of the head, to capture and gaze at the iridescent moon as it encapsulates my new mood that stirs within.  Yes, I believe in God still . . . Buddhist by nature, by choice . . belief by blood or so it seems.

 This awakening of realization stems from an intercourse in recent fiction – I speak not of the bible or distant church bells that resound here on Marco Island but a book that I’m reading of witches, demons & man in his many incripulous faults and deeply wedded loves.  My reading is titled, Lasher by Anne Rice and whilst it is the primary subject of my thought, knowing each character and hanging on the suspenseful climax, one that I speculate and anticipate with the turn of each page; there is an abundance of Christian symbolism at this time.  I passed over the Grammy’s last night and in it’s place, settled on watching Angels & Demons.  You know the movie with Tom Hanks and the plight of the Vatican’s own meddling of affairs nearly causing the destruction of Rome.  It was this movie and the immediately following cinematic Sci-Fi Channel special that captivated this audience of one (plus dog, but he didn’t offer any input on the channel selection).  The secondary movie, I can’t seem to recall the name, heralded the return of Arnold Schwarzenegger (no longer a California governor and his fortunes divided by divorce – he has returned to Hollywood in true form of action/thriller) in yet another movie with Roman priesthood battling Satan’s return in attempt to breed his spawn with some once in a thousand year born child named Christine.  Of course, it was Arnold who portrayed some Rambo meets Saint Michael character but that is far from the topic of importance here.

All of this religious mumbo jumbo has stirred something more spiritual than a splash of vermouth over iced down Tanquerey gin (I openly admit to having three last night and oh, were the artisan blue cheese stuffed olives delish!).  Whitney Houston’s death, the daughter of one Emily “Cissy” Houston, renowned as one of America’s great gospel singers; the abandonment of Prop 8 and the ongoing battle of belittling the authenticity and legality of legal gay marriage; the conflicted republican GOP racey religious overtones sporting a “Royal Rumble” between Mit “the Mormon” Tyrant,  Newt “the Grinch” Gingrich & Ricky “the Papal Slave” Santorum (again, I leave Ron Paul alone); and my own acceptance of faith and fate spooned over an attitude that hasn’t quite settled on the next move . . . fearing the right as much the wrong.  Am I a Fallen Angel?  

In many ways, I identify with the actors and characters of my recent entertainment escapade – that is to say, “the good guys” with their many flaws flanking their intentions as members of the righteous wing.  And I’m not ashamed to say that I too can find my own corrupted soul entwined with the likes of less angelic heirs . . . perhaps it is the blend of the two that allows one the fortitude to strike out against the hand of evil; the saintly all too reserved, too faithful, too passive as the innocence of a nested dove amidst a torrential storm.  No, no . . I am not passive that is for certain, but I have definitely taken my time these passing months, I’ve taken no real assertive steps in any direction for the very fear of making the wrong choice. 

Is any choice the wrong one?  Or is it simply another path of lessons that unfold in perfect triangular fashion as a Star Spangled Banner Flag is passed to the widow of a soldier no more?  Death comes to us all, it is merely the mode and hour that has to be determined – I have no fear of that darkening moment.   I fear having failed to live life to my fullest potential; I fear my own neglect, whether coherent of unconscious, of my pre-ordained destiny to “change the world” . . that is to be an open-ended concept that continually evolves or shall I say revolves; I fear what most do not . . . I know myself, I know the coming of change has accountability and responsibility that few have but elected to embrace . . . I know, I know . . . I know nothing right at this moment, but that God would have me be something more than that of late.

I am a warrior, often meek in merit, but none the less . . I am fighting everyday with the devil within and by circumstance, or fate . . the demon of Eden.  A chef by trait, by passion, by celestial gift – I am hardly content to settle for such selfish preoccupations of simply garnering a wage.  Money is not the root of all evil, it is what we do with it that harbors such ill elections.  My choices however are limited by the unfortunate absence of funds and therefore the struggle couples and leads me further astray, perhaps to turn my sight in oblivious pursuit to be loved by another . . that escape is ever so appealing.  But at last, I recognize the angel sent to me this past November – a mere memory of what can be, could be, will be . . .  and yet that I need find myself before the latter love can ever fully be honored.  Again, I wonder how much of this makes sense?  I know that I believe in God again and tomorrow my Valentine might just be that of the cross embroidered into my plight of possibilities rendering on the stove. 

With Culinary Blessings & Love,

                  Chef Scotty  

A Valentines Menu

Seared Sea Scallop with Saffron Beurre Blanc & Sun-dried Tomato n’Artichoke Risotto Cake

Wild Rocket Salad with Parsnip & Ciopolleni Confit, Corn Shoot, Baconized-Black Raspberry Vinaigrette, Shaved Ossau Iraty & Pink Peppercorn-Pistachio Praline

Sorbet of Scarlet Champagne

Caramelized Shallot encrusted Lambchop wth Sangiovese-Cocoa Demi-God Sauce, Fingerling Potato-Fennel Gratin, Nasturtium Confetti

Coconut-Cardamom Panna Cotta bathing in Rosewater Seduction Sauce