Naked Steamroom Scenes, Wabi-sabi Living, Caper//Berry?

"It smells of listeria, masturbation, pelican entrapment's and pursing lips" The translucent steam bellowed from the exhaust vents as if in harmonious unison with his concentrated breath. Exhaling with fixated urgency he meticulously shuffles the February snow white, starched towel to conceal his plausible loins. Satisfied with the Belize tropical rainforest vibe, the steam solenoid valve shuts off . . particles of H2O silently evaporate, exposing the fleshful expressions of nine thirsty Spartacus followers, their Donatello bodies chiseled out of vanity, their peerless faces no more hidden than an Easter egg. Without any such Catholic reverence he inaudibly thinks, "Why in God's name am I in here?"

Wabi-sabi (侘寂?) represents a comprehensive Japanese world view or aesthetic centered on the acceptance of transience. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete".[1] It is a concept derived from the Buddhist teaching of the three marks of existence (三法印 sanbōin?), specifically impermanence (無常 mujō?), the other two being suffering (dukkha) and emptiness or absence of self-nature (sunyata).

Characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include asymmetry, asperity (roughness or irregularity), simplicity, austerity, modesty, intimacy and appreciation of the ingenuous integrity of natural objects and processes .. . an assortment of adjectives that are applicable to my own bio(with the exception of simplicity, and I'm certain others would have me throw-out modesty)! I was first introduced to the culinary application of "Wabi" in 1999 by my Executive Chef, Michael Fennelly - it's stuck with me ever since!

Plating with a keen eye is a necessity of any great chef and can magnificently transform ones perception from something of simplicity to that of insatiable anticipation. Take Veal Piccata for example, most notably garnished with a sunburst slice of lemon, twisted nest of pasta, and one careless toss of parsley confetti. Lacking any noticeable height differential, dull in color as a dead date palm frond, absent of innovation procured from a recipe that was likely conceived in the same birth year of Jesus Christ. How's one suppose to elevate this dish to any such Gutzon Borglum stature? If he could slice up a granite mountain into four 60 foot tall presidential profiles . . can't we glorify this Romanesque hand-me down meal?

For starters . .
1.) form the lubricated pasta in anything cylindrical (pam spray the inside of a water glass, line with a grilled strip of eggplant, zucchini or red bell pepper & firmly pack the pasta inside, then reverse it onto the plate in the upper left-hand corner)

2.) slice a lemon medallion 1/8 thin and place at the crest of the pasta (think a lemon eye looking up at the stars)

3.) next, gentle spoon 4 oz (a shot glass full) of sauce (strain out any shallot or capers ie: no chunks!) vertically from the left 1/3 of the plate to the right edge. Then - take your thumb, place your fingerprint in the middle of the sauce and repeat the same motion . . moving from left to right

4.) now for the placement of dead calf, cut in half at a diagonal & corner the two up one verticle (up with sliced side down on plate) & the other horizontal (sliced side flush against the base your verticle piccata) You'll likely have to utilize the solidity of the pasta to brace this carnivorous-loving configuration.

5.) final touches: nip the bottom of 3 large caper-berries, erect two in close proximity to the upper right of the plate with the last one standing alone in the lower left.

6.) optional: take 3 full length Italian parsley cuttings (root attached if possible) and utilize as the 3 "poles" of Lakota tepee ... the direction should split around your veal cutlet configuration (or - easier yet, just picture it flat and "walk them around the furthest edge of the plate, over-lapping each stalk)

Perfection? Probably not . . but I guarantee your plate looks better than 98.2 percent of the Italian restaurants dispersed throughout our chummy little Earth:) No recipe today, just a touch of culinary trivia . . .

Culinary Trivia:
Some confusion exists regarding capers and caperberries. The two are not interchangeable though they both derive from the same plant, Capparis Spinosa, which grows throughout the Mediterranean, and is now being grown in places like California. To clarify, the round, lemony, small capers are not the berries. These tiny pealike bursts of flavor are actually immature buds of the caper bush.

In addition to the tiny buds, caperberries are also harvested, and some may prefer their taste to the stronger caper buds. The berries on the caper plant are oblong, semi-green fruits, about the size of or slightly larger than a table grape. Though they still have some lemon taste, they are much milder than caper buds. You can include sliced caperberries in recipes calling for capers if you want a dish that is a bit less acidic. The substitution doesn’t work well in reverse—generally when a recipe calls for caperberries, using capers instead will provide too much acid in a dish.

With Culinary Blessings,

Chef Scotty