― Henry David Thoreau
December 23rd, 2011
Okidokey, I think I’ve got a concept that ties in a few of my emotions without digressing into any state of absence or lustered confusion. I’ve been “blessed” with a certain gift that I don’t care to share with most as it only seems to complex matters, and as we’ve already previously discussed – life is complicated enough without having to muttle the waters more. My little gift has it’s benefits with regards to writing, painting, creating, self-awareness, business dealings and most definitely my presence in kitchen. It has no intention, only impulse! It can be turned off consciously in effortless surroundings (mother nature has a way of quieting the unrequested rhetoric), it can’t be turned on (it chooses it seems to have it’s own initiatives), it neither predicts not recaps the past, it is of the moment, it is shapeless, colorless but not nameless . . .
in•tu•i•tive
adj \in-ˈtü-ə-tiv, -ˈtyü-\
a : known or perceived by intuition : directly apprehended
b : knowable by intuition
c : based on or agreeing with intuition
Good? Bad? Indifferent? At the ripe age of 35, I haven’t quite mastered this “ability” but I have come to understand it’s implications and the capable sensibilities inherent to our little sequestered existence together. The essential problem is, “Do you really want to know what other people are feeling?” “Do you really want to know that foreboding answer ?” And the biggy, “When you have attained the unspoken answer, just exactly how are you suppose to react? Would you make an effort to change their decision, would you confront them with this uncovered honesty or do you shut your mouth, hold down those known truths and just skip along as if you didn’t know any better?” ahhhhh, you’re starting to see the downside . . . maybe that’s why all thems witches are miserable and self-conceited – too much power, too many knowns, too much pain to hold onto – easier to withdraw.
Let me give you a few examples so you can make your own evaluations, severity or blessing in disguise?
Example 1: An employee, with relative good principles and work ethic asks you to borrow $400. The little committee in your head goes to work and informs you that he is strapped for cash and feels that it’s owed to him – not likely to repay you. But they also, shed light on his potential for goodness and that he does possess the capability to honor his word – your affirmation would help transcend his connotation that he was owed anything through your act of generosity. Did I lend it to him in hopes of inspiring his development? Yup! Did he pay me back or even bother to tell me he couldn’t or wouldn’t? Nope! And so, I assumed some serious frustration with myself – taking accountability for my actions, disappointed yet again in mankind shucking off the husk of goodness . . . oh, and I fired him and banned him from my property as the mere sight of him triggered such internal frustration.
Example 2: More of an everyday scenario – close relationships of every capacity are a wee bit complicated with this so called gift. I can’t seem to maintain any male gay-friends as they’d prefer to sleep with me, marry me, fall in love with me. Egotistical? Yeah, one could easily scapegoat me as being the one at fault for “wearing my heart on my sleeve” but it’s my true nature and I’m not about to change that – not for nobody! To hell with anyone who would think I am to blame for their selfishness & my neglect to subside to their desires . . . my actions are uniformly based upon a code of ethics, morals and conscious awareness . . it’s the subconscious that gets me into trouble. (ie: the world would be a better place if we could all walk without doctoring our actions to conformity) Unfortunately, the multitude of seekers has stained my perception of what a successful relationship of “mutual attraction and compatibility” really is, and in my younger years – this caused me to sabotage several potential partnerships of equivalent “give & take” qualities. Like an antique, hand crafted corvette, it’s an endless task to upkeep the basic necessities of performance and appearance; requiring the need for constant fine-tuning, an overhaul scheduled more than periodically. The moral of the story is, it’s just easier to have girlfriends (and yes, even some of those had to be dismissed for their not-so-secretive desires to be with me as more than friend)
Example 3: For the final snapshot of this unwanted talent I take you back to its origination of realization, which ripened to full maturity just as I turned thirteen years old and entered the unforgiving adolescent world of “high school.” My mama knew her child was different, unique, peculiar, a bit of a loner, estranged from commonality and in her concerned efforts to protect me . . . she started sending me to a multitude of psychologists (plural –because I could see through the falsity of these “PhD’s of the mind” and would screw with them a bit . . they didn’t like that!). How many kids are obsessed with saving the Earth and believe their pre-ordained destiny is nothing short of shaping the salvation of mankind? (and I’m talking the entire globe folks!) Needless to say, my little sessions did provide some insight as to my unfiltered knowledge of another’s thoughts. I guess the simplicity of another attempting to enter my brain, my emotions, my past made it all too clear that I could in fact perceive and translate another’s intentions.
You be the judge! Until some miraculous oracle tells me different, I’ll just continue to plug along as I have, building yet another force-field around my free-spirited soul for the purpose of self-preservation; serving to protect me from the pain inflicted by others at the cause of my choice to live without inhibitions and believe in another’s full potential. On a lighter note, this gift has it’s benefits in the field of culinary arts and has rewarded me albeit a true talent as an innovative chef.
I cook from the heart and it’s rather effortless for me. The combination of spices and herbs unique to my intuitiveness, knowledge of ethnic cuisines and experiences based upon numerous trials as a child, an apprentice, an accomplished chef . . . an artist. Maybe my whimsical mannerisms are all attributed to this visceral manifestation . . . maybe not, I don’t need to know the reasoning behind everything – if something’s not broken, no need to fix it. And I’m hardly broken by heart, body or mind (strained perhaps, but not broken).
With holiday wishes and an endless pursuit in achieving happiness,
Chef Scotty
“Intuitive Angel Toast” Recipe
Sweet and decadent, feel free to embellish with chocolate or omit the cream cheese layer for whipped cream (canisters of rediwhip always adventureous). Sometimes sweets have their way soothing the soul, comforting the weary, easing the agony . . . even if at the cost of 5lbs of excess fat!
Ingredients:
7 eggs
3 cups half & half spiked with a shot of vanilla & almond extracts
12 slices angel-food cake (the rectangular type if you can find it/2 pkgs)
2 tbl butter
For angel "french" toast:
Butter or spray a 9 x 13 inch baking dish. Combine the eggs and half & half tincture, pour a small amount in the dish. Put the bread in a single layer in the pan. Pour the remaining egg mixture over the bread and let stand 5 minutes. Turn slices over, cover and refrigerate overnight. The next morning melt butter in hot skillet and cook the french toast until golden brown on both sides.
Cream Cheese Topping:
8 oz. softened cream cheese
3 tbl orange blossom water (or sub amaretto or almond extract)
3 tbl half & half
3 tbl sugar
1/4 cup sliced almonds
Mix first 4 ingredients until smooth. then stir in almonds, set aside.
Cherry Amaretto Sauce:
4 cups frozen or fresh dark pitted cherries
1 cup orange juice
1/2 cup sugar
2 tbl butter
1/4 tsp cinnamon (Mexican canela please)
1/2 cup amaretto or frangelico or 2 tsp almond extract
1/2 cup cherry juice
2 tbl corn starch
Place first 6 ingredients in sauce pan, bring to boil. Mix corn starch and Amaretto mixture in small bowl and add to cherry mixture. Continue cooking, stirring until thickened.
To Assemble:
Place a slice of french toast on place, spread cream cheese mixture over top. Then spoon cherry sauce on top and sprinkle with slivered almonds. Some delicious salty bacon would work beautifully to contrast & cut the sweetness . . otherwise, brew some strong ass coffee!
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